Confession
by Kristee Loory Van-Hoyte
Summary: Donnie has crush on Raphael, but red masked ninja seems to be somehow fixated on Leo lately. One night Donatello goes topside, sneaks to Casey's apartment and hears Raph confessing his feelings for his brother... WARNING: Yaoi hints.


Well it's TMNT ©. And ya know what everyone says: I don't own them… Pity.

**Few words:** the idea came to me suddenly in the middle of the third chapter of "Beloved brother". Not quite sure what had caused that abrupt flash, but I didn't miss the chance and wrote it down.

**For You**: I hope You'll enjoy this. Any tips, comments and opinions are welcomed. Thank You for reading!!

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Standing in the aperture, Donatello looked at his brothers sitting in front of the TV. Leo read some book, biting his lips from time to time, and Mikey watched another evening show, chewing potato chips and commenting everything he saw on the screen. He didn't actually care that there was nobody listening. He enjoyed himself. Raphael was out visiting Casey as like he has been doing very often lately.

Don smiled softly at the youngest brother and turned to their leader.

"Hey, Leo." Genius called.

Blue masked ninja lifted his head and gazed at him with a silent expectation in his light brown eyes.

"I'm going to take a walk." Donatello said as he straightened his belt. "Don't lose me."

Leonardo slowly put his book aside and frowned slightly. Donnie knew this look upon senior brother's face. It meant "I don't think it's such a good idea".

"I won't go topside." Don added hastily before Leo even managed to open his mouth. "Just around the sewers. Need a distraction, my last experiment failed and I'll have to start everything from the very beginning."

Genius hated lying to Leo, but he wasn't in the mood for long talks and explanations. He knew that their leader didn't like when they were separated and, especially, when they went topside alone. He was right, of course, but sometimes it didn't matter. Everyone needs his time.

"Are you ok, Donnie?" Leonardo asked softly. "You look tired."

"Well, that's because I am." Donatello shrugged mildly. "You know working in the lab and maintaining the whole lair without much help from aside is not that easy."

He didn't want that to sound as some accusation. Don liked what he was doing and was ready to spend the whole day in the scientific and technical jungles. And brother's help… Leo was a good leader and sibling, but he was completely hopeless when it came to mechanical stuff. Maybe it was because those things didn't respond to his orders? And Mikey… It wasn't that bad that the youngest of the clan didn't understand all that "wise crap" as he called it, though he obediently sat in the lab following Don's commands. The bad thing was that he was terribly bored during those times. And bored Mikey is just such a show not everyone can bear.

So in fact Raphael was the only mutant, who could really be helpful. And that what bothered Donatello most of all. Hothead almost didn't appear in the lab lately and on the whole behaved strange. He was suppressed and irritated so often that it started to look like his normal state. Raph didn't talk to Don or Mikey for days. And he wounded Leo really hard starting quarrels almost every morning and arguing every leader's word. He seemed to be obsessed with senior brother. Situation escalated so much, that contrary to his own convictions Leonardo seemed even happy when Raphael left their home to go topside.

And above all this Donnie was frustrated because he missed his moody brother very much. He missed their long talks in the lab in the middle of the work on bike's improvement or anything else. He missed his voice, harsh, deep and low. Missed his golden eyes and confident and wide grin on his face. Missed the trembling feeling in his own stomach when Raphael was close to him studying drafts or just listening to Don's explanations. Well, to be honest, he missed everything about him.

But when Raph began to distant himself from his sibling, Donatello didn't say anything. How could he? He didn't know how to explain something like this. And he was embarrassed because he realized that he wanted Raphael to be more than brother to him.

He couldn't tell that, could he? It would bring no good. And he didn't want Raph to hate him.

Donatello shook his head gathering his thoughts and concentrating his attention on their leader. Looked like he missed the usual part of Leo's apologies for not being helpful and promises to make up for it. Genius wasn't too upset because of it. No, he loved and respected his brother, but sometimes Leonardo spoke way too much…

"Well, I'll better be going now." Don smiled slightly as Mikey waved his hand in a goodbye gesture without turning back. "See you."

"Be careful." Leo said lifting his book again.

Donatello nodded and sighed deeply as he walked towards the exit. He hoped that night air and city noises would be able to bring some relaxation. And sweep away those thoughts about Raphael. At least, for a few hours…

...

He didn't quite realize what he was doing until he found himself standing on the roof of familiar building and gazing at the fire ladder. Casey's window was in a few steps lower. Donatello sighed and looked around searching for any possible danger. Everything seemed quiet and calm. Besides it was far past midnight, so genius didn't worry much. He moved forward and grabbed metal banisters.

Well, he could admit it now – he went topside to meet Raphael. Maybe hothead wouldn't be so irritated, having his beer with Casey, and they can talk. And even if not, Donnie hoped that he could at least sit near him, watching his movements and enjoying the feeling of being close again. Not enough to fulfill his needs, but still better than nothing.

Donatello went down the ladder and carefully raised opened window. He quietly sneaked inside apartment Living room was dark and empty, but the door to the kitchen was half opened and Don saw backs of his brother and Casey sitting there at the table. Genius did one step towards them and stopped catching the last words of Raphael's phrase.

"…all about Leo."

Donnie bit his lip. He didn't actually want to eavesdrop on their conversation, but suddenly felt that he couldn't resist. But he really wanted to enter the kitchen and let others know he was there... Yeah, right. At the moment genius heard Leo's name he immediately lost his ability to move. Because he wanted to know why Raph mentioned it. He needed to know.

"He's fuckin' amazing." Raphael sighed deeply, tilting his head slightly. "I wanted ta tell him this so many times that I had stopped countin' long time ago."

Donatello's breath caught in his throat. 'Amazing'? Did Raph just called Leo 'amazing'?

"When I watch him stealthily, I sometimes think that he's perfect." Dark green mutant shifted, gazing at his bottle of beer. "No shortcomings. Ya know, he's smart, strong, handsome, kind… And those legs… Jeez, they're drivin' me crazy…"

Feeling his fists clenching tightly, Don slowly sat on the sofa as he continued to watch. He knew not to do it too intently if he didn't want Raph to sense his glance.

"Especially, when I imagine them wrappin' round my body, pressin' to my sides, tremblin' and rubbin' my skin there…"

"I got it, got it!" Casey raised his hand hastily. "Spare me the details…"

Raphael smirked, rubbing his chin.

"And his eyes…" He continued with low voice. "They're so beautiful. I'm ready ta do anythin' for their affectionate glance."

Donatello wanted to massage his temples but suddenly found himself incapable to relax his fingers. He felt so strange. He was upset, discontent, even angry. Was it… jealousy?

"And when he's smilin'…" Raph sighed again loudly. "It's like sun rising… Damn cliché! But it's true. His smile is so soft, so kind, so… so attractive… It's almost impossible not ta smile in return. I feel myself melting when I see him smilin'…"

Donnie hardly suppressed abrupt wish to run into the kitchen and interrupt this confession. It hurt somehow. Really hurt. He wasn't sure now that eavesdropping was such a good idea after all.

"Man, you're hopeless." Casey shook his head. "You're so deep in this crap that it's not me you need to talk to right now. Tell all this stuff to him."

Donatello felt his heart stopped for a moment. What if Raph would actually do it? What if he'd decide to confess? What would Donny do then?

"Yeah, right." Raphael sniffed loudly. "Piece of cake. I just go to him and say: hey, bro, ya know, I am in love with ya and I think ya have damn sexy thighs and the most beautiful eyes in the whole fuckin' world. Oh, yeah, and I desperately wanna fuck you right here and now."

Don's body shuddered deeply at those words. He couldn't help it especially as he let some images flash across his mind for a few seconds. His cheeks flushed. Having inhaled slowly, Donatello tried to calm down. He decided that it would be better to leave now, but didn't move a bit.

"Talking definitely isn't your best trait, huh?" Casey looked at his friend mockingly. "You need something tenderer. Hey, let's make some speech for you, write it down so you can learn it by heard and give it to your brother. What do you say?"

"As if ya can write." Raphael sniffed.

"As if you can read." Man replied with wide smirk.

They both chuckled and Donnie couldn't help smiling faintly. Yes, those two were definitely worth each other.

"Hey, ya don't mind if I stay here for tonight?" Raph asked suddenly, becoming serious. "It's so fuckin' hard ta be in the lair knowin' that he's so close… I'm kinda obsessed with him and it even worse in the night. Dammit, I'd do anything to have a chance… to taste his skin, kiss his lips, grab those amazing tights, to make him scream with delight…"

Donatello trembled as naughty images once again filled his mind. He shook his head fiercely. What was he thinking about? It was so wrong… And so damn hot at the same time.

"Cut that out." Casey raised his hand once again. "I got used to the fact that my friend is some green pervert, but I'm really not going to listen to this… You're sleeping on the sofa."

"Thanks." Raphael muttered.

"Yeah…" Casey smiled softly and placed his hand on ninja's shoulder. "Look, Raph, it's gonna be fine. As soon as you find courage to confess your feelings to him. And quit telling me about his delectable hips and beautiful eyes every fuckin' time we meet."

Raphael laughed out and Donnie felt his insides twitch at this familiar sounds. Genius once again realized how much he missed it. He listened hungrily to that wonderful laughter while it lasted, then closed his eyes and leaned back on the sofa.

So Raphael was in love with Leo. No big surprise. Leonardo indeed was clever, strong, kind and handsome. Well, in some way. He was everything Raph said. No point in denying they were meant for each other. They have always been so… close, even if they both rejected this thought. And it made sense now. That's why Raph was so irritated and angry lately and why he kept on pushing their leader so hard. He just didn't know how to confess his feelings to his own brother. And it definitely drove him insane.

Yes, Donatello wasn't surprised. He just felt his heart bleeding somewhere deep inside.

"Hate nights." Raphael said abruptly. "I'm so fed up with lying sleepless during long hours and thinking about how much I want to wake up every morning havin' him near, smellin' his scent and kissin' his lips… Knowin' that he's mine."

Don wanted to yell something, anything that would make Raph shut up, wanted run away into the night, wanted to make this painful shivering stop. He was nearly crushed… That's it. It was the end of his hopes and dreams… It was the end…

"My Donnie-boy."

It took several seconds before Don's clouded mind processed these words. And only then genius gasped in a choke, opening his eyes sharply and straightening on the sofa. He couldn't think clearly. Did he just said... Did Raph just called… his name??

"Doesn't it sound… smooth?" Raphael's voice was warm and even tender. "My Donnie-boy."

Donatello couldn't help gasping again as he tried to gather his thoughts. His heart pounded heavily in his chest.

"I don't care." Casey shrugged. "He's your mega crush, not mine."

"Guess, I've been good at hiding it." Raph chuckled, but now it was a bit sad sound. "But as I've said it before, it pisses me off that everyone, even master Splinter, thinks it's all about Leo. Shell, it's like as if he's the only one important for me. Sure I love my brother and everythin', thought he's such an arrogant jerk sometimes, but it doesn't mean my every thought and did is connected ta him. Hmm… Well, I have to admit I do feel guilty… Perhaps I have been using our quarrels with Leo as some sort of distraction more often than it was necessary lately… Maybe, I should apologize or something… I really didn't mean to piss him off so often. I just… Well, I dunno... I just was able to feel some sort of relief listenin' to his endless lectures and not thinkin' about Donnie so obsessively during those hours."

"Sounds like you owe Leo." Casey grinned.

Raphael laughed again.

"Maybe." He tilted his head. "Got more beer?"

Donatello watched Casey get up and go the fridge. Genius felt as if every cell of his body suddenly relaxed and he was kind of floating over the sofa. Raphael called him amazing and perfect. Said he had beautiful eyes, attractive smile and sexy tights. Said he wanted to… take him. Said he wished to call him "mine". And wake up every day in one bed… Together… Every day…

Don's body shivered slightly, as he kept on repeating mentally every Raph's word. Genius just couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop.

And above all this Raphael said he loved him. Well not straight, but he meant that. Donnie inhaled deeply and looked at his palms. They trembled. God, he desperately needed to hear it. And immediately.

He got up slowly, walked to the window and closed it sharply causing the loud sound to fill space around. Two in the kitchen jerked in surprise; Raphael immediately disappeared from vision field as worried Casey turned around and run into the living room. He stopped after a few steps having seen olive green mutant.

"Don?" Man blinked rapidly and raised and eyebrow.

"Hey Casey." Genius tried his best to make his own voice sound as usually. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I was just around…"

"Hm…" Casey shook his head slightly and smiled. "It's ok. Haven't seen you for long. How you've been?"

Donatello wanted to reply, but in that moment Raphael appeared in the kitchen's aperture. Violet-clad ninja sighed deeply, because there was such gentle and delighted expression in those golden orbs that Don's face suddenly heat up almost against his will. And those smug sparkles in Raph'a eyes… Hothead was glad to see him, though outwardly he looked calm and indifferent.

"Donnie…" Raphael folded his arms. "What are ya doing here? Somethin' happened?"

"No, everything is fine. It's just…" Donatello forced himself to tear his gaze away from his brother and looked at Casey. "Eeerm… Casey, can I talk to Raph in private? I'm sorry to be impolite…"

Man stood silently for some time, then exchanged glances with Raphael before he nodded slightly.

"It's ok." Casey smiled again. "Don't worry. And take your time. One of my friend's on the third floor is throwing a party tonight, so I'll be there if you need me."

He waved his hand and walked out of the living room, having closed the door behind him. Raphael leaned to the wall and waited silently not even looking at his brother. Donatello suddenly felt the lack of confidence, but it was too late to retreat.

"I heard everything." He said quietly. "Your every word."

Raphael flinched and slowly turned to Donnie. Golden eyes narrowed and fixed upon him. Red masked ninja didn't say a word. And didn't deny anything. He just looked like as if he was waiting for condemnation.

Moving slowly and shaking involuntary Donatello came closer to him, leaned forward and touched his lips to brother's mouth. He felt himself embarrassed, but the urge to do it was stronger than that. Innocent kiss lasted for a few seconds then Don pulled away, blushing slightly and staring at brother's chin. He thought that he, perhaps, should say something, but wasn't able to force a single word out of himself.

Raphael stood completely still for long moment, not moving, not reacting, not saying anything. It even seemed he didn't breathe.

Then golden orbs flickered.

And Donnie was consumed by powerful and passionate wave that embraced him tightly, making his body shiver and heart quicken, and his lips were engulfed by hot and demanding mouth. Donatello moaned when warm tongue slid inside his own mouth and started its hungry and desperate exploration. Feeling his knees trembling heavily genius grasped brother's shoulders, absorbing the heat from his body, and closed his eyes giving in to those incredible sensations…

That was so good…

"What?" Raphael leaned his head back as Don mumbled something between their wild and breathtaking kisses.

"Say it…" Donnie murmured gasping and blushing deeply as he felt Raph's arm sliding down his body.

"Say what?" Raph pulled him closer still looking at brother's face.

"How did you want to call me…" Donatello shuddered as strong fingers grasped his thigh.

Raphael smiled gently, his fingers continued caressing olive grin skin.

"My Donnie-boy." He said affectionally.

Younger brother blinked as his lips were once again captured in deep and passionate kiss, but before his mind became too clouded, Raph broke his caress and once again looked into Don's eyes.

"I love you." His voice was low and almost hypnotizing as he spoke. "Love you so much."

Donatello sighed happily. Those were the most precious and important words Raphael could ever address him. Genius wanted this confession for so long…

He closed his eyes and hugged Raph as tight as he could.

Well, who ever said eavesdropping is bad after all?

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And so they lived happily ever after... I really enjoyed writing it... I could even see it mentally. Ah, so sweet... Guess, I'm little obssesed with Raph&Donnie stuff. I don't mind, though...


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